Bad Movie

I feel like I am a character in a bad Lifetime movie.

It seems that each time things are starting to move in the right direction in one part of my life, or the lives of my loved ones, something else falls apart in another area of my life or another loved one.

I am getting really sick of it.

I mean really fucking sick of it.

This morning, Mea’s babysitter pulled me aside and told me that her husband has cancer.  They do not know what kind yet, (they have ruled out prostate, but have said very little else to them) they just have a location, something in his lower area, most likely back/hip/pelvis area.  PET test to come sometime next week, so they will know what they are dealing with.

She told me and I burst into tears.  They are the closest thing to a second set of grandparents that Mea has, Mack too for that matter.

These people are more than just Mea’s babysitter.  I have known them since I was a child.  Mack was Jimbo’s girl.  Every time I see him he asks me about Mack.  Which is almost daily.  Mea is his little cuddle bug too.

I am just sick.

I am worried about them. 

I sent them flowers and candy this afternoon.

And although it is somewhat selfish, I have been worried about what it will mean for our daycare situation.  I hate the thought of Mea going anywhere but there.  I also don’t know how they will be able to keep up with daycare, and take care of Jim’s needs once they come up with a treatment plan. 

I know firsthand how crazy those first several months were with my Mom, and I also know that if she had a bunch of kids around her all day long every single day that she would have gone nuts.  Not to mention that it can be a little scary for the little kids to see someone they love sick.  I am terrified that this is starting to be a “normal” thing that Mea has to see and live with.

I just need a break from all this stupid cancer business. 

I am sure all the people who are actually dealing with it want the same thing.

It just pisses me off. 

I am just so done.

 


2 Comments on “Bad Movie”

  1. polwygle says:

    Two neighbors on both sides of me were diagnosed with cancer (prostate and ovarian). Now a third in our row of townhouses has it (unsure what type). It’s scary to be surrounded by it — especially in your case, by the ones you love.


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