>Our Road to MeaPosted: July 26, 2009
Mea was 13 months old when she came to our family, she just turned 3 in June. We adopted through the foster care system. She had been with a foster family from birth, we are still in regular contact with her “first” family. We got a call at the end of June 2007, and had to wait for her TPR hearing on July 20, we drove 2 hours to meet her, and a week and a half later she and her foster family came our way to come and visit us. On July 22, 2007, she came to us forever. Such an amazing time. We just celebrated her “gotcha” day!
We originally started the foster/adopt process to adopt an older child. Since when we started our youngest at home (Mack) was already 13, we had planned to see about an older child (7 and up), or maybe an older sibling group. After going through the long process to get licensed, and once we were cleared we started looking into the children that were currently awaiting families. The majority it seemed were spoken for, or had special needs that we didn’t feel we were capable of parenting, or already had several families already mid process of getting acquainted with them. Our worker told us that our best bet would be to take as many foster children as we could, still trying to help them with reunification, but that we would be the first choice if a TPR was eventually ordered.
The majority of the time when they called us for foster placements, it seemed that the children they would call us about were unable to fit in our home. We had many calls for sibling groups, we only had room for 2 children and they would call with a boy/girl combo’s (due to age couldn’t share a room) or for 3 children at a time. Since my husband and I both work full time, we just didn’t feel that we could take more then 1 child at a time. We got a call on Halloween of 2006, for a placement of a 6 year old boy. The worker that called didn’t give much information, and it seemed that it was time.
It was an unbelievable experience, both good and bad. Really made me learn an immense amount about my abilities as a parent, and my limitations. D went back to his family after 6 months with us. We had decided that even if reunification was not possible, we wouldn’t adopt. It was heartbreaking, and a hard decision to make, but the right choice for our family.
We decided to take a break from placements for a bit, to regroup, and just have some time off, to think about what we were going to do going forward. Our long term goal was to adopt. Initially we had decided that we wanted a boy, we already had 4 girls between us. Initially we had also decided to go for an older child. Our experience changed our minds. We decided we were open to any gender, and we also decided that we were open to a younger child. At the time we decided that we would go down to around 5, they would be in some kind of school then, etc.
Just around the time of coming up with our decision, they called about our Mea. It wasn’t a call for a foster placement. They were looking for an adoptive family. She had just turned 1. She had been with the foster mother from 10 days old. We thought over the weekend, I called the foster mother on Monday evening while Mack was at her guitar lesson, while waiting in my car. We talked for an hour and a half. They of course offered Mea to her, as she had been with her for so long. She was older, and her husband had passed away the year before. J told me that although she loved her so much, she didn’t think it was fair to have Mea grow up with such an old mom, and without a dad. I loved that. So much heart. You could tell that she was a foster mom because she loved children, not the case with all of them. I asked if she could email us a picture of Mea, and she said that she would try to figure it out in the next day or so.
I called the worker the next day, and told her that we wanted her. The worker called J to ask about our conversation, and she had given her approval of our family. We got pictures emailed to us later that evening, and we couldn’t believe what a beautiful baby would be joining our family….