>Baby Pictures

>Last week, Mea’s preschool teachers requested a baby picture of all the kids in the class room.  They are putting together a “Baby Book” for the class.  I did send an email Friday to the teacher asking what they were doing for sure with this, I’m thinking if I could come on Mea’s Super Star Baby Day, and help talk about adoption it might be better.  Then again, it could get 20 preschoolers going home and asking where babies are made, so who knows.  I haven’t heard from the teacher yet, and that is irritating.

Mea has been so concerned by this.  Completely worried.  She just kept saying over and over again that we didn’t have any baby pictures of her.  It has kind of broken my heart a little.  I have some baby pictures, but not a lot, we have looked at them together many times, so she knows they are there.  To me, she was still a baby when she came home to us at thirteen months and twelve days old.  Her foster mom, made me a small photo album with pictures of her from the day she came to their house, at ten days old, up until her first birthday.  So we have a few photos of about every age of her first year.

First day with her foster mom.  10 days old.

About four months old.

Of course, when she came home, it was pictures galore.  I couldn’t stop taking pictures and video of her.  I still can’t.
It’s these feelings, worries and hurts, that I consume myself with sometimes.  I don’t ever want Mea to hurt.  I don’t ever want her to feel that she was unwanted or unloved.  She was every minute.  By me, by her Dad, by her foster mom and foster sister, by Mack and the other girls.  I just hope that is enough to compensate for some of the rest of her story.

First day home with us.  07-22-2007

I don’t really know what else to say about it I guess.   I don’t want to talk about her bio situation, as it’s her story.  I know the story, and pieces of it hurt me.  There is a lot more to Mea then this little bit of her history, but knowing when it’s the right time to share pieces of this history with her, and what will hurt the most or least is one of the hardest parts of being her Mamma.  I think it could also be some of the best parts, and bring us even closer together, if I do it right. 

Let’s hope for that outcome in the end.


2 Comments on “>Baby Pictures”

  1. Jen says:

    >Here's hoping Kelly. And that picture of Mea when she came home to you, how cute is that? I hope as she gets older, she will find knowing herself to be adopted by you and your family as a source of joy and the blessing it is.

  2. >I feel you. I wish I could protect Meg from ever even having to encounter those feelings. I just hope I am as good with her as you are with Mea when she does.

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