Yesterday, we attended the baby shower of an old family friend.  Alicia, the girl who the shower was for, is not old, but we have known her since she herself was just a little baby, so since she is 30, that counts as the “old” part.

My Mom used to do in-home daycare when we were kids.  I honestly don’t remember when she started, she babysat as long as I can remember, until I was about 12.  She started taking Alicia when she was six-weeks old, and two years later, we had her baby brother as well.  Our families are tied together now in many ways.  More like family, than just friends.

My Mom babysat for the kids during the day, and when I got a little older, I would babysit at night for the kids, and when I was older still, I would spend weekends with the kids when their parents went out-of-town, I knew their house as well as my own. 

When Mack came along, when I was still trying to decide what to do, adoption or parent, Alicia’s aunt and uncle wanted to adopt her.  It was the first I had ever heard of open adoption.  They were the first ones to tell me about open adoption as a possibility.  I knew her aunt and uncle, I had known them a long time, and because I knew the family so well, it was something that I seriously considered at the time.  In the end I just couldn’t let go of her, and I knew that there wasn’t another choice for me but to parent.

After Mack was born, when I was working and going to school, Alicia’s mom was Mack’s first babysitter.  It was kind of weird how the roles reversed.  She worked from home at that point, and she loved having my little baby to spend time with.  I would still come with Mack in tow, to come watch the kids on weekends, or stay with them while their parents traveled.  The kids were old enough at that point to “watch” themselves, I just came to be a supervisor of sorts.  Often on those weekends when I came to “watch” them, I would be working, and the roles would be reversed again, and Alicia would be the one babysitting Mack.

Right before Mea came home, Alicia got married.  It must have been in May.  My husband DJ’ed the reception.  It was beautiful.  They had some trouble getting and staying pregnant, but I didn’t find this out until yesterday afternoon. 

Mea wasn’t feeling stellar yesterday, but since she wasn’t running a fever, and there was no one home to watch her anyway, she came with my Mom and I to the shower.  She was the only kid there, and was getting a lot of attention.  She got to pass out the gifts, she got to help unwrap them all.  She was a wonderful little helper.  Seeing Alicia with her, she is going to be a great Momma to her new little baby boy when he gets here.  All in all it was a fun time, not too many dumb baby shower games, tasty cake, and getting to see our “family.” 


Now here comes my ranty bit.  I am really annoyed at my sister.  She decided at the last-minute that she didn’t want to go.  She wasn’t sick, the kids were healthy, she just didn’t want to.  I didn’t want to really either, and I don’t think my Mom did either, we had both had long weekends and had to work today, and knowing that she didn’t have to get up and go to work is annoying.  Sometimes there are just things you do, because you should.  The party was a mix of the “mom friends,” Alicia’s mom’s friends, and her mother-in-law’s friends.  The party was almost entirely made up of the MIL’s friends.  My sister babysat, and knew the kids as often, and as well as I do. 

There is something going on with her that is not quite right, and my Mom and I can’t figure it out.  She swears there is nothing wrong when you ask her, but she has just been weird.  I just don’t think she is happy.  I think she needs to find something to do.  She has been a stay at home mom for the last ten years.  This year my youngest niece is in first grade, all day school (last year she was half days only), maybe she’s lonely, or overwhelmed by the idea of going back to work, or who knows.  What I know, is that the way she is acting, is not like her.  She used to be fun.  She used to be funny.  Now she’s just not.

It’s sad.


*  In Northern Germany, fathers celebrate the baby’s birth with a drinking party, usually an all-male event within days of the birth. Playing off the diuretic (urine-producing) aspect of beer, it is called a babypinkel (“baby pee”) party.

So many more people would be just thrilled to go if all baby showers were Babypinkels.


5 Comments on “Babypinkel*”

  1. Jen says:

    You are so right that at times there are things you do because you just should. Sorry about your sister not being “right”. I have a friend who is depressed, I honestly believe this friend is depressed, clinically. But the friend doesn’t see it, doesn’t recognize it and likely is clueless about it at all. I don’t know what to say/do because I don’t believe that the friend will seek help no matter what I say or do. Sorry for the post hijack, just wanted to say, maybe that could be part of the problem?

    • Kelly says:

      Actually, my Mom did say that maybe she could be depressed. She very well could be. It’s always been her “job” to take care of the kids, and now that they are both in school full time, I think she’s having a really hard time. She’s never been very outgoing, and although she’s really talented artistically, she doesn’t have any confidence in what she does. It’s part of the reason why I think she needs to go out and do something. Even if she went and volunteered somewhere it would be good for her to get out.

      • Jen says:

        You’re right, it would be good for her to get out and be part of something. It might be her feeling less needed now.

  2. Libby says:

    My sister pulls that crap all the time. Just doesn’t show for things. Oh, and then she gets insulted when we plan things and don’t invite her. Ah, the joys of family.

    • Kelly says:

      Exactly, now these friends have come to all weddings, gradations, baby showers, all of it. You can bet that if they hadn’t shown up to something of her’s she would have been totally pissed off. So frustrating.

I like thoughtful comments!

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