Here We Go Again…

My brother-in-law is back in town.  He’s been on an extended vacation of sorts.  This is about the third time that he’s been back in the eleven and a half years that my husband and I have been together.

He’s been on this vacation since he was in his early twenties, always comes back for a quick visit, and then goes back home.  It’s sad.  I think at this point the entire family is weary of his visits, and know that he’s only back for a limited period of time.

He has not once made it past work-release, before going back.  When my mother-in-law died, we had to jump through hoops, and pay a crazy amount of money in order for him to attend the funeral.  Had it been up to me, or my sister-in-law (the one married to my husband’s youngest brother, not the actual sister), he wouldn’t have been there.  They felt he should be there.  I felt like he should have been there too, but not with armed guards, a borrowed suit, and wrist and ankle shackles.  If he’d only been able to have his life straightened out before that time, it would have made their mother’s day.

Every family, has one of some sort.  My family has a couple, they just usually don’t end up locked up.  It always make me a little nervous, as we live the closest to where he is staying.  There is also the part where my office is an equal distance from where this is as well.  We have had previous violations, and it always worries me that this would be ever so convenient for him.  It’s typically not what he does, but you know, you just never know.

Every time he is back from vacation, I feel that the right thing to do is to let my boss know.  Just in case.  I don’t want them to ever think that this was my idea, or anything like that.  I know that they wouldn’t, but it’s just the type of thing that runs through my head.

He has issues.  He has a known drug problem.  Getting out it always leads back to this.  It is so sad.  But you can only help those who want to be helped.  He always has good intentions.  But after twenty plus years of these extended vacations, it’s just not too likely that he will be home for long.

Usually, we find out that he’s going back on vacation by watching the news.  He has the same routine.  He prefers to visit filling stations, and likes to fill garbage cans with specific merchandise, and leave.

When he’s on vacation we tend to get letters that start off nice, then end up accusatory, and then usually close with him asking for money.  They do not get replied to.  None of this is my husband’s fault.  He did not make him this way, so for him to accuse my husband of anything is pure bullshit.

They all get their hopes up when he comes back.  I don’t.  I will be here when we see the news, and try to comfort my husband the best way I can.  No “I told you so’s are necessary.”  After witnessing this for eleven and a half years, I know how painful it is for him.  He wants the best for his little brother, even if it’s more than likely not going to happen.

It hurts all of us.  He’s never met Mea.  He’s been on vacation for that long.  He’s met Mack twice.  Once at Grandma’s funeral, and once at a Thanksgiving, where he was on vacation.  When he calls here, he calls me “Sis” like we have been close or something.  I have met him all of three times.  He tries to act like he’s never been gone.

I try to act like he’s never come back.


5 Comments on “Here We Go Again…”

  1. Brad says:

    He’s lost and that’s sad. Sad for all of you.

    • Kelly says:

      It is sad. It is hard to see my husband and his youngest brother go through this. They want the best for him, I just think at this point he’s too far gone.

  2. Brad says:

    You never want to give up hope but by the same token it must be infuriating and exhausting to have to live with the all of the broken pieces he leaves behind each time.

  3. Jen says:

    You’re right, every family has at least one. I was just talking to P about the one in ours. It’s tough on everyone. I’m sorry your husband has to feel the pain of it and that he has lost out on so much life.

  4. […] October:  My brother-in-law is back in town. […]

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