Frozen

A few posts ago, I had mentioned that I had reached out to Mea’s older biological siblings on Facebook.  I didn’t ever get a response.  I closed the Facebook profile after I hadn’t heard anything for quite a while.

This morning, I searched her name(s) and she has a profile on Facebook now.  Six friends, including her oldest daughter.  One photo, Mea looks so much like her, it reminds me of myself and Mack.  Mini-me’s all the way.

I have one photo of her that June gave us, when Mea came home, I had thought the same thing then, but it’s been a while since I have seen that photo.  Even though I have been working towards some sort of contact for a while, and had been thinking about it even longer, I feel like I got hit with a freeze ray or something.  Just kind of frozen, I keep going back to the profile and looking at it.  I keep examining the photo, pulling it up to a close up, shutting my phone off and going back to it.

I think I need to think a little bit.  I need to finish composing that letter I have started to her.  I still would rather to go through social services, or go the PO Box route, only because there are so many unknowns, we have never met, never spoke, I only know what I know, and I don’t think she knows anything about us at all.

I know she is still alive.  I know that she looks good.  I know that I can find an address to send her something, and still be working towards the ultimate goal.

I am so unbelievably thankful to my friends out here.  The courage comes from your support.  I don’t know if I would have been doing any of this without all of you.

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2 Comments on “Frozen”

  1. Jen says:

    I’m just going to keep sending you positive thoughts on this one. Please do keep a layer between you (like the PO Box). There may be a lot of things you don’t want to invite in going on. I know you know that already and will stay safe about it.

  2. missohkay says:

    So heavy. I wouldn’t know where to begin.


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