A Tale of Two ToothbrushesPosted: September 6, 2012
Once upon a time, there was a couple who had been married for eleven years, five months and six days, or something like that.
This married couple had settled into several habits that were the couple’s normal behavior. Certain things certain ways, changing things sometimes as they went, if the change made sense.
The wife did some things that annoyed the husband, the husband did some things that annoyed the wife, but these things were little things that were just part of who the couple were.
Some examples from the husband:
- Let’s face it, the wife doesn’t really do much that is super annoying. (She is the wife after all, and this is my story dammit, so I’ll tell it like I want to tell it.)
Some examples from the wife:
- The husband loses things, and blames everyone in the house for the stuff being missing.
- The husband likes to keep every box for every single thing the family ever buys, ever. The garage is full of empty boxes.
- The husband is a neat freak.
- The husband likes to throw everything away, except for those stupid boxes in the garage.
- The husband will do “laundry” but leave the clothes in the dryer to get all wrinkled, instead of folding them.
- The husband bitches about shoes being everywhere.
- The husband tries to make “rules” about shoe purchasing. (Ha!)
- So really, the husband’s list could go on and on and on, but for the sake of time, and carpal tunnel syndrome, I’ll let you use your imaginations.
Last weekend, the wife and husband were getting ready to go out for the night, and the wife caught the husband with her pink toothbrush in his hand, with toothpaste on it, wet from the faucet. Inches from his own mouth. She
screamed for him to drop her toothbrush immediately stopped this travesty from happening.
The husband said he got confused because he has an orange toothbrush instead of his regular blue toothbrush.
Normally, the husband has blue and the wife has pink. The wife learned in the first year prior to marriage that the husband needed everything color coded.
Pink = wife.
Blue = husband.
Then one day, he decided his toothbrush was worn out, and he needed a new one. He took it upon himself to scrounge around in the linen cabinet, and found an orange toothbrush.
Orange = Oldest daughter.
Apparently, orange and pink look the same to him.
The wife had to correct the husband and the pink vs. orange toothbrush several times, these were the times she was present when the husband was actually brushing his teeth, and could remedy the situation prior to the toothbrush going into his mouth. A few days later the wife actually caught the husband brushing his teeth with her toothbrush.
The wife started wondering if the husband was actually color blind and needed to be seen by the optometrist. She made an appointment, just in case.
The wife forgot to buy the new toothbrushes, in the correct marriage approved colors, during three subsequent trips to Target. She finally remembered today.
All is right in the world again.