Resolutions (From my Pets)

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions.  I know many people who do, but I don’t see the point.  If I am going to get thinner, save money, be frugal, drink less, drink more, I will just do those things.

However, I have decided after reading a Facebook post on our Veterinarian’s FB page, that my dogs, and Mack’s cat need to have a few resolutions.  So I asked them what they plan on trying to do differently, and they shared.

Winston

  1. I will eat less poop while in the backyard.
  2. I will not use all my pee to mark my territory along the entire fence, maybe just part of my pee. 
  3. I will try not to beg. (Except when the man has cheese.  I love cheese.)
  4. I will try not to snort water up my nose while drinking it.  This make me do this weird sneezing/hyperventilating/coughing thing that makes the woman put me in my kennel.
  5. I will be kind to the little woman, and protect her.  I love her the most.

Franklyn

  1. I will eat less poop while in the backyard.
  2. I will try not to walk under Winston while he is peeing on the fence.  It makes the woman really angry for some reason.
  3. I will attempt to no longer eat crayons that the small woman leaves all over the place.  This will be extremely difficult, crayons are my crack.
  4. I will not get in the garbage cans or the dirty laundry baskets.  (Unless there is something delicious in there like dirty kleenex, dirty underwear, dirty socks, rotten things from the refrigerator and already chewed chewing gum.  Then all bets are off, I love that stuff.
  5. I will suck up to the man, because he doesn’t seem to like me too much.

Olive

  1. I am a cat.  I will do as I fucking please.
  2. See Number 1.

 

Happy New Year.  Be safe.  Much love to you all.

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3 Comments on “Resolutions (From my Pets)”

  1. Holly says:

    LOL! Love it

  2. libbylogic says:

    Is poop the only thing on the menu at your house?

    And cats suck.


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