Mea Wants Fake Hair Too…

My Mom asked me yesterday if I would go out with her to the wig shop on Saturday morning, and give her my opinion on the wig that she found.  She and my sister went out earlier this week and looked.  They found one that is similar to my Mom’s color, and style.  These are both very good things.

When my Aunt was sick, she selected a wig that was not even close to her actual hair color, and in a style that she had never worn her hair in.  It was weird.  All photos from that time frame just seem strange.  It definitely wasn’t just me who thought that.  Maybe she thought it was a good time to try a new look, but I think keeping things close to normal makes more sense.  She also took one of her son’s with her to pick it out, and not a girlfriend, or my Mom, or anyone that would give an honest opinion.  Knowing my cousin, he would have told her that anything looked good so that they could be done with the errand as soon as possible.

Of anything that my Mom has gone through with this entire diagnosis, and the treatments the fact that she will lose her hair has been the hardest pill for her to swallow.  She has great hair.  Thick, straight, and lots of it.  Unlike me, who inherited my father’s hair, and have baby fine, thin hair, that lacks any and all volume.  She has told me that she has flashbacks of sweeping up my Nana’s hair.  That just sweeping my Nana’s hair was traumatizing for her.  (My Nana also had beautiful hair.)

I had offered to shave her head.  I do a mean Monkeysoup Special (bald) but then I realized that we no longer have any guards for the clippers.  We literally take my husband to as bald as we can get without using a regular razor.  I don’t think she is too keen on going quite that bald.  She is going to have her hair dresser do it.  In many ways I am glad.  I will do anything my Mom asks me to do, but some of the things that she could ask me to do are going to be hard.  This would have been one of them.

My Dad works every Saturday.  My husband works 3 out of four Sundays a month, so Mea will be coming with us to do the wig shopping.

I decided that I really needed to at least make an attempt to explain to Mea what was going on.  Of course this conversation was started while I was getting ready for work this morning, because we can never have a serious conversation outside of the car, or when we are in a bit of a hurry.  Timing, Mea!  Timing!

So I explained that we are going to take Nana to the wig store tomorrow.  That Nana is still sick.  That the medicine that they are going to give Nana to try to make her a little better is going to make her hair fall out, and she wants a wig so she can look like herself sometimes.  I explained that sometimes Nana might wear a hat or a scarf, if she doesn’t feel like wearing her wig.  But not to be scared, because it is still her same old Nana, just without hair.

She then asked me if she could catch Nana’s sickness.  (“It’s not like a cold, buggy, where you sneeze and catch the germs, it’s something that cannot be caught.”)

She then asked if she could have fake hair too.  (“Mea, you just had fake hair, in your braids, remember?”) 

I want a wig too, Momma.  So I can be like Nana.  (I couldn’t say anything.  Afraid I would cry.)

Then she told me that we should take Nana to Walgreens, since they have the best fake hair at Walgreens.

I have a feeling that she is going to go crazy at the wig store.

Is there anything else that any of you can think of to say to Mea?  I didn’t mention “cancer,” I didn’t mention “dying.”  Partially due to my own wimpyness, and partially because my daughter is six years old.  How much can she understand without being completely overwhelmed?


2 Comments on “Mea Wants Fake Hair Too…”

  1. Charlotte says:

    I think you are doing great. I would not mention dying. Let Mea enjoy her time with Nana without worrying her about the future. Your girl sounds like a smart cookie who is not afraid to ask questions. She will see her Nana get poorly and as long as she knows she can talk to you, your husband or Nana herself, the time will come when she will ask.

  2. Jen says:

    I think that was a good explanation.

I like thoughtful comments!

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