What I’ve Learned

In the last five weeks, I have learned many new things about myself, about searching for a job, about things that are done during the hours of 8 to 5, Monday through Friday.

Let’s move into handy bullet post fashion for this very educational post.

  • Daytime TV will suck out your soul, and sell it to the devil.
  • Parents of school aged children are crazy, and do not know how to drive.
  • Many of them cannot read either, as they cannot follow a simple sign that states, “No left turns, between the hours of 7:45-8:15 am and 2:45-3:15 pm”
  • I have thought about getting out of my car and directing traffic, I think this very well could be an activity within my skill set, but I value my life, and I do not want to go to prison.  Plus, I do not look good in orange.
  • Based on the amount of fighting going on between Mea and I, it is time to go back to work, and get back in the routine.  She is making me crazy, and I am making her crazy.
  • My house is clean.
  • Like clean, clean.
  • In fact, I am running out of things to clean.  I scrubbed all the hard wood floors (otherwise known as the entire house) on my hands and knees, in one day.  My whole body hurt so bad the following day, I was cursing myself for taking on such a task.
  • It’s not like I couldn’t have spread the chore out a little bit.
  • My next thing to do is to clean out the cupboards.
  • If I don’t start a job soon, I may break down and start painting rooms.
  • Truthfully, it kind of needs done, but the ceiling in my kitchen is a deep cranberry color.  It took me four weeks, and four gallons of paint to get it solid everywhere.  The thought of trying to paint over it, makes me slightly suicidal.
  • Loading the DVR with lots of good crappy TV shows, does burn a bit of time.
  • It also melts your brain and turns you into a zombie.
  • I have read nine books in the last almost five weeks, a few really good ones.
  • I have made dessert more in the last five weeks, than I have in a year, and I have still lost weight
  • I am now down 17 pounds.  Clearly dropping fast food, and caramel lattes is a very good thing for me.
  • I have actually cooked dinner, different things from the usual stuff that I make, many times in the last five weeks.
  • Once I do get a job, none of my clothes are going to fit.
  • Shopping is a good hobby, and fun to do during the daytime, but it costs money, and I am trying very hard not to do that, so I can stay on budget.
  • I have acquired Mea’s summer wardrobe, was able to shop around for the best deals, and found some really cute things.  I even went to Wal-Mart.  (It is somewhat less evil during the day.)
  • I have been able to spend time with my Mom.  (And this is very, very, good.  Maybe the only great thing that unemployment has given me.)
  • It has been nearly twenty-one years since I have not worked for this long of a time frame.  (I took twelve weeks off of work after Mack was born, but did go back to school four weeks after her birth.)
  • I wish that Donahue and Oprah were still on TV.  (Aging myself with the Donahue, aren’t I?)
  • I need a hobby, besides watching bad reality TV, and reading.  These are both fine things to have as a hobby when you work 40-50 hours per week, but they fall short when you are not.
  • What in the hell happened to soap operas?
  • I tried to see if I could get back into some of my old soaps, and they are so fucking crazy I just sat shaking my head for ten minutes before turning the TV off, and buying another book on my Kindle.  By the way, Richard Simmons is back on General Hospital.
  • That dude is a crayon short of a full box.
  • Why is watching people get the results of DNA and lie detector tests entertaining?
  • I have been trying to determine who my favorite TV judge is.  Right now it’s a three-way tie between Judge Marilyn Milian, Judge Joe Brown, and Judge Mathis.  It is sad, but I like all three of them for different reasons.
  • That last bullet point proves that I am watching way too much TV, which takes us back to my very first bullet point.

A smattering of things I have learned while not working.  Let’s pray for a job offer soon before I lose my marbles.


3 Comments on “What I’ve Learned”

  1. Jen says:

    I got a serious chuckle out of some of these items my friend. And no, orange is not a good color for most, so let’s avoid that one, please. I need some of your cleaning capacity. My house is a train wreck. It took me 20 minutes to find the table for dinner the other night. I ended up just dumping a stack of papers and such onto the floor out of irritation. It’s still there.

  2. I really liked this! I’ve had more free time this year than in the last several years, and I’ve used it to work on my blog, cook more, and start gardening.

    By the way – if you’d be interested in writing a guest post for Adoption at the Movies, that’d be a way to kill some time 🙂

  3. KimN says:

    I hope you get a job offer very soon. I agree, daytime TV can drain your brain. We got rid of cable awhile back so I only get the basic antenna channels which makes it worse. I usually don’t even turn it on anymore (except to watch GH from time to time and yes, it is crazy now). Due to the little girls I don’t have a ton of free time but I find I can waste way too much time playing candy crush. I think I need a new hobby too.

I like thoughtful comments!

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